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“I've banged half the girls in this room, and that is fuckin' not true. I haven't banged anyone here. I've put my pinky in your butts, couple of you.”

— Bob Saget

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“I've banged half the girls in this room, and that is fuckin' not true. I haven't banged anyone here. I've put my pinky in your butts, couple of you.” – Bob Saget

“I don't call her my middle child, I call her my center child, Because the world revolves around her.”

— Bob Saget

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“I don't call her my middle child, I call her my center child, Because the world revolves around her.” – Bob Saget

“This woman woke up to see me and John Stamos banging on her windows. She must have thought she died and went to sitcom hell.”

— Bob Saget

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“This woman woke up to see me and John Stamos banging on her windows. She must have thought she died and went to sitcom hell.” – Bob Saget

“Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! ""Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house--"" and, cut! ""Cock shit fuck!”

— Bob Saget

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“Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! ""Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house--"" and, cut! ""Cock shit fuck!” – Bob Saget

“People ask me what my favorite episode of Full House is; it was the last one!”

— Bob Saget

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“People ask me what my favorite episode of Full House is; it was the last one!” – Bob Saget

“That would be a good public service announcement for Nickelodeon: ""Hi, this is Bob Saget. Don't fuck that shit. Stay in school. And read!”

— Bob Saget

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“That would be a good public service announcement for Nickelodeon: ""Hi, this is Bob Saget. Don't fuck that shit. Stay in school. And read!” – Bob Saget

“Kids, do not fuck that shit; you'll get an infection.”

— Bob Saget

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“Kids, do not fuck that shit; you'll get an infection.” – Bob Saget

“If you laugh at that, you lower the bar, and I will limbo under it because I am a fucked-up guy!”

— Bob Saget

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“If you laugh at that, you lower the bar, and I will limbo under it because I am a fucked-up guy!” – Bob Saget

“The whole thing for me is that I did 'Full House' and 'America's Funniest Home Videos,' and I look like a dentist, and I'm a dad. Being known as a dirty comedian turned into this weird thing. It's people's image of me.”

— Bob Saget

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“Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.”

— Bob Saget

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“Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.” – Bob Saget

“When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't go away.”

— Bob Saget

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“When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't go away.” – Bob Saget

“Celebrity is a word that I find offensive. That's the c-word. I hate it. It means no discernible talent. It means all you want is to be famous. It doesn't mean you're a writer, an actor, a mime. I think I wanna not be a celebrity.”

— Bob Saget

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