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-of-the-terrible-fallacies-of-contemporary-psychotherapy-is-that-if-people-would-just-say-how-they-felt-a-lot-of-problems-could-be-solved2026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/justice/you-want-to-play-video-games-twentyfour-hours-a-dayor-watch-i-just-want-to-not-be-me-whether-its-sleeping-or-playing-video-games-or-riding-my-bike-or-studying-giving-my-brain-up-thats-whats-important2026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/time-seasons/i-suppose-this-was-the-first-time-i-had-ever-felt-an-urge-not-to-be-never-an-urge-to-die-far-less-an-urge-to-put-an-end-to-myself-simply-an-urge-not-to-be-this-disgusting-hostile-and-unlovely-world-wa2026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/time-seasons/it-wasnt-that-she-was-sadsadness-had-very-little-to-do-with-it-really-considering-that-most-of-the-time-she-felt-close-to-nothing-at-all-feeling-required-nerves-connections-sensory-input-the-only-thin2026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/time-seasons/last-time-i-talked-to-her-she-didnt-sound-like-herself-shes-depressed-its-awful-what-happens-when-people-run-out-of-money-they-start-thinking-theyre-no-good2026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/maybe-all-you-need-to-pull-you-back-form-the-ledge-is-to-know-someone-would-miss-you-if-you-fell2026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/god/i-appear-at-times-merry-and-in-good-heart-talk-too-before-others-quite-reasonably-and-it-looks-as-if-i-felt-too-god-knows-how-well-within-my-skin-yet-the-soul-maintains-its-deathly-sleep-and-the-heart2026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/joy-happiness/people-who-keep-stiff-upper-lips-find-that-its-damn-hard-to-smile-22026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/love/he-sang-i-wish-i-werent-me-over-and-over-again-just-flat-of-the-key-of-love-until-he-forgot-the-words-and-could-only-hum-along-everyday-was-the-same-the-same-stupid-smile-on-the-same-stupid-boy-until2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/hope/lately-though-hed-just-been-tired-in-general-tired-of-people-tired-of-books-and-tv-and-the-nightly-news-and-songs-on-the-radio-hed-heard-years-before-and-hadnt-liked-much-in-the-first-place-he-was-tir2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/love/its-nonverbal-i-need-love-i-need-the-thing-that-happens-when-your-brain-shuts-off-and-your-heart-turns-on-and-i-know-its-around-me-somewhere-but-i-just-cant-feel-it2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/anxiety-mental-health/depression-is-not-sobbing-and-crying-and-giving-vent-it-is-plain-and-simple-reduction-of-feeling2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/adversity-trials/when-the-black-thing-was-at-its-worst-when-the-illicit-cocktails-and-the-tenmile-runs-stopped-working-i-would-feel-numb-as-if-dead-to-the-world-i-moved-unconsciously-with-heavy-limbs-like-a-zombie-fro2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/people-and-society/somehow-like-so-many-people-who-get-depressed-we-felt-our-depressions-were-more-complicated-and-existentially-based-than-they-actually-were2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/death-grief/dead-but-not-allowed-to-die-alive-but-as-good-as-dead2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/anxiety-mental-health/depression-is-anger-turned-inward2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/joy-happiness/but-about-the-drip-drip-of-longhaul-noendinsight-solitude-they-know-nothing-they-dont-know-what-it-is-to-construct-an-entire-weekend-around-a-visit-to-the-laundrette-or-to-sit-in-a-darkened-flat-on-ha2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/adversity-trials/i-spend-a-lot-of-time-wondering-what-dying-feels-like-what-dying-sounds-like-if-ill-burst-like-those-notes-let-out-my-last-cries-of-pain-and-then-go-silent-forever-or-maybe-ill-turn-into-a-shadowy-sta2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/love/in-the-silence-of-night-i-have-often-wished-for-just-a-few-words-of-love-from-one-man-rather-than-the-applause-of-thousands-of-people-22026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/i-told-doreen-i-would-not-go-to-the-show-or-the-luncheon-or-the-film-premiere-but-that-i-would-not-go-to-coney-island-either-i-would-stay-in-bed-then-i-wondered-why-i-couldnt-go-the-whole-way-doing-wh2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/people-and-society/if-you-think-of-something-do-itplenty-of-people-often-think-id-like-to-do-this-or-that2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/a-sense-of-humor-is-the-best-indicator-that-you-will-recover2026-10-27T10:28:33+00:00https://clergymans.com/hope/they-say-that-depression-makes-you-see-everything-in-a-negative-light-i-disagree-it-makes-you-see-things-for-what-they-are-it-makes-you-take-off-the-fucking-rosetinted-glasses-and-look-around-and-see2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/compassion/i-was-depressed-but-that-was-a-side-issue-this-was-more-like-closing-up-shop-or-say-having-a-big-garage-sale-where-you-look-at-everything-youve-bought-in-your-life-and-you-remember-how-much-it-meant-t2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/and-she-keeps-saying-how-can-you-do-this-to-me-and-i-want-to-scream-what-do-you-mean-how-can-i-do-this-to-you-arent-we-confusing-our-pronouns-here-the-question-really-is-how-could-i-do-this-to-myself2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/dissimulation-secretiveness-appear-a-necessity-to-the-melancholic-he-has-complex-often-veiled-relations-with-others-these-feelings-of-superiority-of-inadequacy-of-baffled-feeling-of-not-being-able-to2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/strength/when-i-was-first-aware-that-i-had-been-laid-low-by-the-disease-i-felt-a-need-among-other-things-to-register-a-strong-protest-against-the-word-depression-depression-most-people-know-used-to-be-termed-m2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/if-you-are-in-a-bad-mood-go-for-a-walkif-you-are-still-in-a-bad-mood-go-for-another-walk2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/healing/we-are-not-easy-to-help-nor-are-we-easy-to-be-around-nobody-with-a-serious-illness-is-easy-to-be-around-although-not-obviously-physically-disabled-we-struggle-to-get-things-done-our-energy-levels-are2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/death-grief/grief-is-depression-in-proportion-to-circumstance2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/anxiety-mental-health/its-so-difficult-to-describe-depression-to-someone-whos-never-been-there-because-its-not-sadness-i-know-sadness-sadness-is-to-cry-and-to-feel-but-its-that-cold-absence-of-feeling-that-really-hollowedo2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/everyones-a-liar-everyone-ive-ever-known2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/love/not-waving-but-drowning-nobody-heard-him-the-dead-man-but-still-he-lay-moaning-i-was-much-further-out-than-you-thought-and-not-waving-but-drowning-poor-chap-he-always-loved-larking-and-now-hes-dead-it2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/adversity-trials/in-its-severe-forms-depression-paralyzes-all-of-the-otherwise-vital-forces-that-make-us-human-leaving-instead-a-bleak-despairing-desperate-and-deadened-state-life-is-bloodless-pulseless-and-yet-presen2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/it-doesnt-hurt-nothing-hurts-except-the-small-smiles-and-blushes-that-flash-across-the-room-like-tiny-sparrows2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/anxiety-mental-health/i-have-deep-feelings-of-depression-what-can-i-do-about-thissnap-out-of-it-five-cents-please2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/i-am-alive-because-you-want-me-to2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/joy-happiness/most-people-who-think-theyre-happy-are-really-just-stupid2026-10-27T10:28:34+00:00https://clergymans.com/adversity-trials/suffering-is-one-very-long-moment-we-cannot-divide-it-by-seasons-we-can-only-record-its-moods-and-chronicle-their-return-with-us-time-itself-does-not-progress-it-revolves-it-seems-to-circle-round-one2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/god/if-you-cant-or-wont-think-of-seymour-then-you-go-right-ahead-and-call-in-some-ignorant-psychoanalyst-you-just-do-that-you-just-call-in-some-analyst-whos-experienced-in-adjusting-people-to-the-joys-of2026-10-27T10:28:36+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/i-pull-my-lower-lip-all-the-way-in-between-my-teeth-if-i-try-hard-enough-maybe-i-can-gobble-my-whole-self-this-way-i-didnt-try-hard-enough-to-swallow-myself2026-10-27T10:28:36+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/they-had-to-call-and-calland-pick-the-worms-off-me-like-sticky-pearlsfrom-the-poem-lady-lazarus-written-2329-october-19622026-10-27T10:28:36+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/i-remain-someone-of-little-consequence-as-if-nothing-more-than-dandelion-fluff-caught-on-a-breeze2026-10-27T10:28:36+00:00https://clergymans.com/freedom/its-as-if-a-child-with-a-brush-and-too-much-enthusiasm-has-been-set-free-with-a-tin-of-black-paint-inside-me2026-10-27T10:28:36+00:00https://clergymans.com/people-and-society/almost-everyone-is-overconfidentexcept-the-people-who-are-depressed-and-they-tend-to-be-realists2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/joy-happiness/sufferers-of-depression-who-can-elect-to-keep-their-feelings-private-experience-chronic-unremitting-emotional-alienation-each-moment-spent-passing-as-normal-deepens-the-sense-of-disconnection-generate2026-10-27T10:28:35+00:00https://clergymans.com/people-and-society/minds-are-unique-they-go-wrong-in-unique-ways-my-mind-went-wrong-in-a-slightly-different-way-to-how-other-minds-go-wrong-our-experience-overlaps-with-other-peoples-but-it-is-never-exactly-the-same-exp2026-10-27T10:28:36+00:00https://clergymans.com/faith/you-see-people-in-the-depressive-position-are-often-stigmatised-as-failures-or-losers-of-course-nothing-could-be-further-from-the-truth-if-these-people-are-in-the-depressive-position-it-is-most-probab2026-10-27T10:28:36+00:00https://clergymans.com/purpose/if-suffering-like-her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-strikes-food-chokes-you2026-10-27T10:28:48+00:00https://clergymans.com/god/we-have-to-take-the-first-step-as-though-there-were-no-god-it-is-no-use-to-wait-for-god-to-help-us-he-will-not-but-immediately-we-arise-we-find-he-is-there2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/love/in-the-morning-you-were-never-violently-sorry-you-made-no-resolutions-but-if-you-had-overdone-it-and-your-heart-was-slightly-out-of-order-you-went-on-the-wagon-for-a-few-days-without-saying-anything-a2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/anxiety-mental-health/we-should-all-fortify-ourselves-against-the-dark-hours-of-depression-by-cultivating-a-deep-distrust-of-the-certainties-of-despair-despair-is-relentless-in-the-certainties-of-its-pessimism-but-we-have2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/family/casy-said-ol-toms-house-cant-be-moren-a-mile-from-here-aint-she-over-that-third-risesure-said-joad-less-somebody-stole-it-like-pa-stole-ityour-pa-stole-itsure-got-it-a-mile-an-a-half-east-of-here-an-d2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/healing/we-need-not-become-fixated-upon-our-own-suffering-whatever-its-origin-we-offer-it-up-thus-participating-in-the-wellbeing-of-the-universe-when-we-experience-an-illness-or-depression-not-as-our-own-but2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/justice/somehow-however-just-knowing-that-i-could-fully-expect-unhappiness-to-return-if-not-predictably-then-nevertheless-reliably-was-strangely-liberating-the-point-was-that-even-chaos-had-a-structure-a-begi2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/hope/master-nathaniel-looked-at-him-the-fixed-stare-the-slightlyopen-mouth-the-rigid-motionless-body-fettered-by-a-misery-too-profound-for-restlessness-how-well-he-knew-the-state-of-mind-these-things-expre2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/if-we-were-never-depressed-we-should-not-be-alive2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/my-stomach-turned-and-burned-with-the-acid-of-failure2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/abundance-gratitude/roosevelt-spoke-eloquently-in-his-penetrating-tenor-of-those-who-at-this-very-moment-are-denied-the-greater-part-of-what-the-very-lowest-standards-of-today-call-the-necessities-of-life-i-see-onethird2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/love/squiffy-have-you-ever-felt-a-sort-of-strange-emptiness-in-the-heart-a-sort-of-aching-void-of-the-souloh-ratherwhat-do-you-do-about-iti-generally-take-a-couple-of-cocktails2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/god/when-people-quit-talking-to-god-they-quit-talking-to-one-another-and-people-who-quit-talking-to-god-soon-get-very-lonely-and-depressed-they-are-actually-lonely-for-god-hungering-for-communion-with-him2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/anxiety-mental-health/what-people-never-understand-is-that-depression-isnt-about-the-outside2026-10-27T10:28:49+00:00https://clergymans.com/joy-happiness/the-opposite-of-depression-is-not-happiness-but-vitality-and-my-life-as-i-write-this-is-vital-even-when-sad-i-may-wake-up-sometime-next-year-without-my-mind-again-it-is-not-likely-to-stick-around-all2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/adversity-trials/the-doctors-words-made-me-understand-what-happened-to-me-was-a-dark-evil-and-shameful-secret-and-by-association-i-too-was-dark-evil-and-shameful-while-it-may-not-have-been-their-intention-this-was-the2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/hope/your-depression-is-connected-to-your-insolenceand-refusal-to-praise-whoever-feels-himself-walking-on-the-path-and-refuses-to-praisethat-man-or-womansteals-from-others-every-dayis-a-shoplifterthe-sun-b2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/anxiety-mental-health/she-remembered-how-it-had-felt-and-tasted-that-slowly-descending-depression-like-a-thick-glass-jar-that-closed-around-you-sucking-away-the-air-you-needed-to-breathe-creating-a-barrier-between-you-and2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/they-have-no-idea-what-a-bottomless-pit-of-misery-i-am2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/absence-loss/empty-teacups-gathered-around-her-and-dictionary-pages-fell-at-her-feet2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/a-depressed-person-doesnt-want-you-to-try-and-cheer-them-up-it-makes-us-sick2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/anxiety-mental-health/emergencies-have-always-been-necessary-to-progress-it-was-darkness-which-produced-the-lamp-it-was-fog-that-produced-the-compass-it-was-hunger-that-drove-us-to-exploration-and-it-took-a-depression-to-t2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/the-message-of-this-lecture-is-that-black-holes-aint-as-black-as-they-are-painted-they-are-not-the-eternal-prisons-they-were-once-thoughthings-can-get-out-of-a-black-hole-both-on-the-outside-and-possi2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/at-the-best-of-times-spring-hurts-depressives2026-10-27T10:28:50+00:00https://clergymans.co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the-flower-beneath-the-machine-and-the-machine-rolls-slowly-on-blocking-the-sun-without-a-care-for-what-it-tramples-beneath2026-10-27T10:30:13+00:00https://clergymans.com/nature/in-the-mirror-i-stand-an-injured-deer-in-headlights-or-maybe-high-beams-judging-by-the-way-my-eyes-water-i-measure-my-wrists-with-my-fingers-and-i-clutch-at-my-rib-cage-fingering-it-languidly-tracing2026-10-27T10:30:13+00:00https://clergymans.com/hope/i-looked-hard-out-the-window-and-understood-suddenly-that-what-i-saw-was-full-of-color-a-watercolor-wash-of-summer-light-lay-on-the-catalina-mountains-the-end-of-a-depression-is-that-clear-its-as-if-y2026-10-27T10:30:13+00:00https://clergymans.com/uncategorized/ive-memorized-the-best-angles-in-the-bathroom-mirror-from-which-to-see-how-badly-ive-disintegrated-i-truly-do-go-from-sixty-to-zero2026-10-27T10:30:13+00:00https://clergymans.com/death-grief/its-emotional-character-is-probably-mostly-indescribable-except-as-a-sort-of-double-bind-in-which-anyall-of-the-alternatives-we-associate-with-human-agency-sitting-or-standing-doing-or-resting-speakin2026-10-27T10:30:13+00:00https://clergymans.com/love/bad-thoughts-can-be-dangerous-if-left-to-simmer-and-weaken-the-heart-slowly-and-invisibly-like-termites-that-destroy-the-beams-of-a-house-secretly-in-the-dark-until-its-too-late-and-everything-collaps2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/hope/in-those-years-when-their-mother-disappeared-into-herself-and-old-mrs-jeffrey-next-door-turned-into-frannie-their-honorary-grandmother-alice-also-taught-herself-how-to-change-light-bulbs-fix-running-t2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/adversity-trials/how-did-i-not-see-it-pain-is-everywhere-im-just-another-sorry-story-all-these-people-wearing-smiles-dragging-themselves-arounddo-they-all-know-already-do-they-realize-how-fast-the-world-can-change2026-10-27T10:30:13+00:00https://clergymans.com/hope/the-days-and-the-light-feel-like-brief-moments-of-torture-put-here-to-remind-us-of-what-we-dont-have-any-more-joy-is-instantaneous-that-is-the-wonder-of-joy-misery-and-suffering-sneak-up-on-someone-li2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/fear-anxiety/i-know-what-its-like-to-sleep-in-fear-to-starve-myself-to-be-worthy-to-be-ashamed-of-my-voice-to-want-to-sleep-forever-to-question-why-i-deserve-to-live2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/faith/it-is-as-if-i-were-made-of-stone-as-if-i-were-my-own-tombstone-there-is-no-loophole-for-doubt-or-for-faith-for-love-or-repugnance-for-courage-or-anxiety-in-particular-or-in-general-only-a-vague-hope-l2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/fear-anxiety/in-the-end-it-was-the-secrets-that-held-me-hostage-and-fuelled-my-depression-but-once-released-emancipation-from-fear-shame-guilt-and-judgement-was-finally-possible2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/purpose/household-objects-lost-meaning-a-bedside-clock-became-a-hunk-of-molded-plastic-telling-something-called-time-in-a-world-marking-its-passage-for-some-reason2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/love/i-name-you-today-heart-fears-i-am-small-but-you-are-smaller-you-will-not-stop-me-you-have-a-voice-fears-and-i-must-listen-but-then-i-will-open-my-heart-i-will-love-you-right-to-death2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/hope/i-was-lost-in-a-void-of-perpetual-darkness-disconnected-from-myself-turned-inside-out-no-sign-of-life-eventually-the-darkness-was-my-light-and-the-void-a-haven-a-quiet-place-where-i-could-nurse-my-sec2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00https://clergymans.com/healing/i-felt-like-i-was-being-carried-over-the-threshold-of-a-sisterhood-of-loss-i-knew-i-was-not-walking-alone-and-that-eventually-i-would-bob-back-up-to-the-surface-of-the-deep-because-the-women-around-me2026-10-27T10:30:14+00:00