“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”– Lana Turner Related Quotes “I actually was class clown, but I don’t know how that happened because I’ve never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.”– Janeane Garofalo “Vampires have credit cards?””We’re undead, not Amish.”— Jennifer Colgan “It’s funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They’re usually quite nice comparisons I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate.”– Sloane Crosley