“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”
– Albert Einstein
“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”
– Mark Twain
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
– Frank Sinatra
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
– Lana Turner
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard
“A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.”
– Bill Cosby
“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
– Ron White
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey