Clergyman's

“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”
– Scott Adams

“I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.”
– Mitch Hedberg

“The learned are not agreed as to the time when the Gospel of John was written some dating it as early as the year 68, others as late as the year 98 but it is generally conceded to have been written after all the others.”
– Simon Greenleaf