“How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.”– Spike Milligan Related Quotes “Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying then without money?”– Ogden Nash “The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”– Phyllis Diller “For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents.”– James Herriot