“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”
– Mark Twain
“There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one – keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.”
– Mark Twain
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
– Mark Twain
“My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.”
– Mark Twain
“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”
– Mark Twain
“Laws control the lesser man… Right conduct controls the greater one.”
– Mark Twain
“Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.”
– Mark Twain
“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”
– Mark Twain
“We have the best government that money can buy.”
– Mark Twain
“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”
– Mark Twain
“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”
– Mark Twain
“There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.”
– Mark Twain
“To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.”
– Mark Twain
“Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.”
– Mark Twain
“What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.”
– Mark Twain
“It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”
– Mark Twain
“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
– Mark Twain
“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work.”
– Mark Twain
“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”
– Mark Twain
“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.”
– Mark Twain
“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
– Mark Twain
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
– Mark Twain
“God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.”
– Mark Twain
“Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.”
– Mark Twain
“Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.”
– Mark Twain
“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
– Mark Twain
“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”
– Mark Twain
“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”
– Mark Twain
“By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.”
– Mark Twain
“All generalizations are false, including this one.”
– Mark Twain