“When you hire that first person, then you’re a boss. You’ve got performance reviews. You’ve got complaints about not making enough money. You’ve got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.”
– Scott Adams
“We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.”
– Scott Adams
“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
– Scott Adams
“It doesn’t take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.”
– Scott Adams
“Home is pretty utopian.”
– Scott Adams
“Obviously there’s not much options when you’re a cartoonist – you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.”
– Scott Adams
“Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.”
– Scott Adams
“Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.”
– Scott Adams
“I think ‘Dilbert’ will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. ‘Dilbert’ is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.”
– Scott Adams
“The greenest home is the one you don’t build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that’s already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don’t want.”
– Scott Adams
“Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.”
– Scott Adams
“The only risk of failure is promotion.”
– Scott Adams
“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”
– Scott Adams
“Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.”
– Scott Adams
“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.”
– Scott Adams
“Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let’s face it, a hamster with Alzheimer’s could make those kind of numbers. It’s great work if you can get it.”
– Scott Adams
“Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.”
– Scott Adams
“The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn’t like you or wants to get rid of you, you’re in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don’t like you, that’s okay.”
– Scott Adams
“In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.”
– Scott Adams
“The best things in life are silly.”
– Scott Adams
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
– Scott Adams