“People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.”– Ellen DeGeneres Related Quotes “Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?”– Phyllis Diller “Funny, how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are.”– Gabrielle Reece “I don’t know now if I’m funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that’s funny.”– Craig Ferguson