Clergyman's

I went to a funeral the other day. Caught the wreath.
- Simon Munnery

The pen is mightier than the sword,"" you say. Get out your pens and prepare to have your logic tested by steel.
- Simon Munnery

Sex. If you want it badly that's how you're going to get it.
- Simon Munnery

Look at the sea and remember the past. Look at the sky and imagine the future. Look at the land and think of the present. And in the most profound place where land, sea and sky are one - there ye shall play volleyball.
- Simon Munnery

Like most true Scots I despise the haggis, the kilt and the caber. Unlike most true Scots, I am not Scottish.
- Simon Munnery

You know, it was only after my father showed me what I would inherit that I struggled to keep him alive.
- Simon Munnery

Like most true Scots I despise the haggis, the kilt and the caber. Unlike most true Scots, I am not Scottish.
- Simon Munnery

It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.
- Simon Munnery

It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.
- Simon Munnery

You know, it was only after my father showed me what I would inherit that I struggled to keep him alive.
- Simon Munnery