Clergyman's

Over 500k "Quotes"

“We preach about capitalism and the beauty of unfettered market forces determining price--but not when it comes to gas. When it comes to gas, we need it cheap, and the president had better get it for us, or else, we don't care how.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“We preach about capitalism and the beauty of unfettered market forces determining price--but not when it comes to gas. When it comes to gas, we need it cheap, and the president had better get it for us, or else, we don't care how.”
— Bill Maher

“New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're sensitive, you look like you're homeless.The last guy to pick up a chick with an Apple was Adam. And when you sit across from another dateless loser with a laptop, it still doesn't look like you're working--it looks like you're playing Battleship.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're sensitive, you look like you're homeless.The last guy to pick up a chick with an Apple was Adam. And when you sit across from another dateless loser with a laptop, it still doesn't look like you're working--it looks like you're playing Battleship.”
— Bill Maher

“New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my e-mail, and the next thing I know it's three days later, I'm in the desert, I'm banging on a drum, I'm naked, and somebody's pierced my dick.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my e-mail, and the next thing I know it's three days later, I'm in the desert, I'm banging on a drum, I'm naked, and somebody's pierced my dick.”
— Bill Maher

“New Rule: You can't force the ATM to do something it doesn't want to do. Excuse me, lady in front of me at the Citibank ATM, but you've been standing there punching buttons for ten minutes--what are you trying to do, write a novel on it? You hear those beeping noises? That's the ATM saying, "Stop it, you're hurting me." A chicken would have gotten forty bucks out of that thing by now just by pecking the buttons randomly.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“New Rule: You can't force the ATM to do something it doesn't want to do. Excuse me, lady in front of me at the Citibank ATM, but you've been standing there punching buttons for ten minutes--what are you trying to do, write a novel on it? You hear those beeping noises? That's the ATM saying, "Stop it, you're hurting me." A chicken would have gotten forty bucks out of that thing by now just by pecking the buttons randomly.”
— Bill Maher

“Every day in America is a day with a shooting.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“Every day in America is a day with a shooting.”
— Bill Maher

“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word "France." Like just calling something French is the ultimate argument winner. As if to say, "What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully conceived and brilliantly executed war in Iraq?" And yet an American politician could not survive if he uttered the simple, true statement: "France has a better health-care system than we do, and we should steal it." Because here, simply dismissing an idea as French passes for an argument. John Kerry? Couldn't vote for him--he looked French. Yeah, as a opposed to the other guy, who just looked stupid.Last week, France had an election, and people over there approach an election differently. They vote. Eighty-five percent turned out. You couldn't get eighty-five percent of Americans to get off the couch if there was an election between tits and bigger tits and they were giving out free samples.Maybe the high turnout has something to do with the fact that the French candidates are never asked where they stand on evolution, prayer in school, abortion, stem cell research, or gay marriage. And if the candidate knows about a character in a book other than Jesus, it's not a drawback. The electorate doesn't vote for the guy they want to have a croissant with. Nor do they care about private lives. In the current race, Madame Royal has four kids, but she never got married. And she's a socialist. In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him "liberal," he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill some”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word "France." Like just calling something French is the ultimate argument winner. As if to say, "What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully conceived and brilliantly executed war in Iraq?" And yet an American politician could not survive if he uttered the simple, true statement: "France has a better health-care system than we do, and we should steal it." Because here, simply dismissing an idea as French passes for an argument. John Kerry? Couldn't vote for him--he looked French. Yeah, as a opposed to the other guy, who just looked stupid.Last week, France had an election, and people over there approach an election differently. They vote. Eighty-five percent turned out. You couldn't get eighty-five percent of Americans to get off the couch if there was an election between tits and bigger tits and they were giving out free samples.Maybe the high turnout has something to do with the fact that the French candidates are never asked where they stand on evolution, prayer in school, abortion, stem cell research, or gay marriage. And if the candidate knows about a character in a book other than Jesus, it's not a drawback. The electorate doesn't vote for the guy they want to have a croissant with. Nor do they care about private lives. In the current race, Madame Royal has four kids, but she never got married. And she's a socialist. In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him "liberal," he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill some”
— Bill Maher

“Do not fuck with gun nuts because they are nuts about their guns.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“Do not fuck with gun nuts because they are nuts about their guns.”
— Bill Maher

“New Rule: America has every right ot bitch about gas prices suddenly shooting up. How could we have known? Oh, wait, there was that teensy, tiny thing about being warned constantly over the last forty years but still creating more urban sprawl, failing to build public transport, buying gas-guzzlers, and voting for oil company shills. So, New Rule: Shut the fuck up about gas prices.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“New Rule: America has every right ot bitch about gas prices suddenly shooting up. How could we have known? Oh, wait, there was that teensy, tiny thing about being warned constantly over the last forty years but still creating more urban sprawl, failing to build public transport, buying gas-guzzlers, and voting for oil company shills. So, New Rule: Shut the fuck up about gas prices.”
— Bill Maher

“It's not that we don't care--it's just that that we'd prefer not to get involved.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“It's not that we don't care--it's just that that we'd prefer not to get involved.”
— Bill Maher

“After September 11th, I never much liked the trend of everyone and his brother wearing the hats and jackets of the NYPD and FDNY. Only the people who do the job should get to wear the hat. Would you wear someone else's Medal of Honor? Yes, it's a tribute, and sincere tribute is always appropriate for these brave people. But wearing their symbols is also rubbing off a piece of heroism that isn't yours.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“After September 11th, I never much liked the trend of everyone and his brother wearing the hats and jackets of the NYPD and FDNY. Only the people who do the job should get to wear the hat. Would you wear someone else's Medal of Honor? Yes, it's a tribute, and sincere tribute is always appropriate for these brave people. But wearing their symbols is also rubbing off a piece of heroism that isn't yours.”
— Bill Maher

“We were asked to do very little, and we responded. That's the bargain we tacitly make with our presidents: we won't ask too much of you, if you don't ask too much of us.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“We were asked to do very little, and we responded. That's the bargain we tacitly make with our presidents: we won't ask too much of you, if you don't ask too much of us.”
— Bill Maher

“This is the opposite of the free market.”

— Bill Maher

SAVE:

DESIGN:

CUSTOM BG: DIM:

FONT:

RATIO:

RES:

BG

PAT

QUOTE

AUTHOR

FRAME

“This is the opposite of the free market.”
— Bill Maher