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“Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?”

— Chelsea Handler

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“Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?”
— Chelsea Handler

“That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.”
— Chelsea Handler

“The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.”
— Chelsea Handler

“I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.”
— Chelsea Handler

“I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“Can you imagine peaking as a teen? I think if you peak in high school, there's a problem. That's what my sister always said: 'Don't worry, you'll peak later.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“Can you imagine peaking as a teen? I think if you peak in high school, there's a problem. That's what my sister always said: 'Don't worry, you'll peak later.”
— Chelsea Handler

“I wanted to be famous. It's embarrassing to admit, but I came out to L.A. thinking it would happen in no time. I thought, 'Once they see me, they'll be so glad I came.' I always had a ridiculous amount of self-confidence about what was going to happen to me.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“I've always had a big personality. I was trickier as a kid. I behaved erratically instead of consistently. I would have tons of friends, and then I would have no friends. I'd be with the cool girls, then the uncool girls. I migrated from group to group because I was bored or people got bored with me. I was very intense.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.”
— Chelsea Handler

“Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of humor. I mean, let's be honest: she's ridiculous. What is her game plan?”

— Chelsea Handler

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“Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of humor. I mean, let's be honest: she's ridiculous. What is her game plan?”
— Chelsea Handler

“Why are babies allowed to cry when they wake up, but adults crying when they wake is frowned upon? Babies are permitted to act like assholes whenever they feel like it and no one blinks...”

— Chelsea Handler

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“Why are babies allowed to cry when they wake up, but adults crying when they wake is frowned upon? Babies are permitted to act like assholes whenever they feel like it and no one blinks...”
— Chelsea Handler

“I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.”

— Chelsea Handler

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“I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.”
— Chelsea Handler