“Sometimes it just feels really really wonderful to be alive.”
— Doug Coupland
“There’s much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because numbness encourages laziness, you do fewer things, good or bad, and the world’s probably a better place for it.”
– Doug Coupland
“Technology favors horrible people.”
– Doug Coupland
“Christmas makes everything twice as sad.”
– Doug Coupland
“The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member.”
– Doug Coupland
“Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships.”
– Doug Coupland
“Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.”
– Doug Coupland
“If cats were double the size they are now, they’d probably be illegal.”
– Doug Coupland
“Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.”
– Doug Coupland
“People will always choose more money over more sex.”
– Doug Coupland
“I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements.”
– Doug Coupland
“Men won’t read any email from a woman that’s over 200 words long.”
– Doug Coupland
“Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one’s taking.”
– Doug Coupland
“If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it.”
– Doug Coupland
“We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.”
– Doug Coupland
“Unhappiness is something we are never taught about we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn’t arrive.”
– Doug Coupland
“If you don’t have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can’t expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis.”
– Doug Coupland
“A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you’re past it.”
– Doug Coupland
“I think that in the future, clocks won’t say three o’clock anymore. They’ll just get right to the point and rename three o’clock ‘Pepsi.’”
– Doug Coupland
“When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they’re going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they’re going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.”
– Doug Coupland
“The future and eternity are two entirely different things.”
– Doug Coupland
“It also allows you to look as though you’re not particularly from the present, future or past, either.”
– Doug Coupland
“In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich.”
– Doug Coupland
“There’s nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It’s a total turn-off.”
– Doug Coupland
“I know it’s not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?”
– Doug Coupland
“You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog.”
– Doug Coupland
“Forget about being world famous, it’s hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.”
– Doug Coupland
“Everybody has basically the same family, it’s just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next.”
– Doug Coupland
“It’s very strange that most people don’t care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.”
– Doug Coupland
“People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people’s families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.”
– Doug Coupland