“By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.”
— J.K. Rowling
“So that’s little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you’ve inherited your mother’s brains.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Can’t stay long, Mother,” he said. “I’m up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves-“”Oh, are you a prefect, Percy?” said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. “You should have said something, we had no idea.””Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it,” said the other twin. “Once-“”Or twice-“”A minute-“”All summer-“”Oh, shut up,” said Percy the Prefect.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Mistletoe,” said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry’s head. He jumped out from under it. “Good thinking,” said Luna seriously. “It’s often infested with nargles.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Well, I certainly don’t,” said Percy sanctimoniously. “I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days.” “Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?” said Fred. “That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!” said Percy, going very red in the face. “It was nothing personal!” “It was,” Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. “We sent it.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Who’re you going with, then?” said Ron.”Angelina,” said Fred promptly, without a trace of embarrassment.”What?” said Ron, taken aback. “You’ve already asked her?””Good point,” said Fred. He turned his head and called across the common room, “Oi! Angelina!”Angelina, who had been chatting with Alicia Spinnet near the fire, looked over at him.”What?” She called back.”Want to come to the ball with me?”Angelina gave Fred a sort of appraising look.”All right, then,” she said, and she turned back to Alicia and carried on chatting with a bit of a grin on her face.”There you go,” said Fred to Harry and Ron, “piece of cake.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Harry — I think I’ve just understood something! I’ve got to go to the library!”And she sprinted away, up the stairs. does she understand?” said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.“Loads more than I do,” said Ron, shaking his head.“But why’s she got to go to the library?”“Because that’s what Hermione does,” said Ron, shrugging. “When in doubt, go to the library.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Did you like question ten, Moony?” asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.”Loved it,” said Lupin briskly. “Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.””D’you think you managed to get all the signs?” said James in tones of mock concern.”Think I did,” said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. “One: He’s sitting on my chair. Two: He’s wearing my clothes. Three: His name’s Remus Lupin…”
— J.K. Rowling
“I dreamed I was buying new shoes last night,” said Ron. “What d’ya think that’s gonna mean?””Probably that you’re going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something,” said Harry.”
— J.K. Rowling
“I don’t mean to be rude—” he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable.”Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often,” Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.”
— J.K. Rowling
“We did it, we bashed them wee Potter’s the one, and Voldy’s gone moldy, so now let’s have fun!”
— J.K. Rowling
“For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Harry, don’t go picking a row with Malfoy, don’t forget, he’s a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you…””Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life?” said Harry sarcastically.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Seventeen, eh!” said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred.”Six years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?””Vaguely,” said Harry, grinning up at him. “Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?””I forge’ the details,” Hagrid chortled.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Where is Wood?” said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn’t there.”Still in the showers,” said Fred. “We think he’s trying to drown himself.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my ‘furry little problem’ in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.”
— J.K. Rowling
“An Unbreakable Vow?” said Ron, looking stunned. “Nah, he can’t have…. Are you sure?””Yes I’m sure,” said Harry. “Why, what does it mean?””Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…””I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.”
— J.K. Rowling
“I hope you’re pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed – or worse, expelled. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Ginny!” said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. “Haven’t I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain?”
— J.K. Rowling
“Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that’s gripping the nation!”
— J.K. Rowling
“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!”
— J.K. Rowling
“Of all the trees we could’ve hit, we had to get one that hits back.”
— J.K. Rowling
“He was my mum and dad’s best friend. He’s a convicted murderer, but he’s broken out of wizard prison and he’s on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though…keep up with my news…check if I’m happy…”
— J.K. Rowling
“Why were you lurking under our window?””Yes – yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?””Listening to the news,” said Harry in a resigned voice.His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.”Listening to the news! Again?””Well, it changes every day, you see,” said Harry.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Oh well… I’d just been thinking, if you had died, you’d have been welcome to share my toilet.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you’ve – you’ve blown up a toilet or –””Blown up a toilet? We’ve never blown up a toilet.””Great idea though, thanks, Mum.”
— J.K. Rowling
“Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”
— J.K. Rowling
“How do you feel, Georgie?” whispered Mrs. Weasley.George’s fingers groped for the side of his head.”Saintlike,” he murmured.”What’s wrong with him?” croaked Fred, looking terrified. “Is his mind affected?””Saintlike,” repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. “You see…I’m HOLEY, Fred, geddit?”
— J.K. Rowling
“Percy wouldn’t notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby’s hats.”
— J.K. Rowling