“Girls are not only being denied access to scientific and adventurous toys, they’re also presented with such a narrow range of options that domesticity and stereotypically “female” duties are shoved down their throats before they’ve even reached the age of five.”
— Laura Bates
“Disbelief is the first great silencer.”
— Laura Bates
“Women are silenced by both the invisibility and the acceptability of the problem.”
— Laura Bates
“One of the cleverest and most insidious twists in the whole sorry tale is the way women are double bound by a gender-biased definition of professionalism and the threat of being labeled “whining.”
— Laura Bates
“Our experiences of all forms of gender prejudice – from daily sexism to distressing harassment to sexual violence – are part of a continuum that impacts all of us, all the time, shaping ourselves, and our ideas about the world. To include stories of assault and rape within a project documenting everyday experiences of gender imbalance is simply to extend its boundaries to the most extreme manifestations of that prejudice. To see how great the damage can become when the minor, “unimportant” issues are allowed to pass without comment. To prove how the steady drip-drip-drip of sexism and sexualization and objectification is connected to the assumption of ownership and control over women’s bodies, and how the background noise of harassment and disrespect connects to the assertion of power that is violence and rape.”
— Laura Bates
“The more stories I heard, the more I tried to talk about the problem. And yet time and time again I found myself coming up against the same response: Sexism doesn’t exist anymore. Women are equal now, more or less. You career girls these days have the best of all worlds – what more do you want? Think about the women in other countries dealing with real problems, people told me – you women in the West have no idea how lucky you are. You have “gilded lives”! You’re making a fuss about nothing. You’re overreacting. You’re uptight, or frigid. You need to learn to take a joke, get a sense of humor, light up…You really need to learn to take a compliment.”
— Laura Bates
“Sexism is often an invisible problem. This is partly because it’s so frequently manifest in situations where the only witnesses present are victim and perpetrator.”
— Laura Bates
“The incidents that go unwitnessed definitely help to keep sexism off the radar, and unacknowledged problem we don’t discuss. But so too do the regular occurrences that hide in plain sight, within a society that has normalized sexism and allowed it to become so ingrained that we no longer notice or object to it. Sexism is a socially acceptable prejudice and everybody is getting in on the act.”
— Laura Bates
“When we suggest victims can stop rape, we also (however unintentionally) imply that rape is an inevitable aspect of life rather than an action deliberately carried out by a perpetrator.”
— Laura Bates
“As long as we as a society continue to belittle and dismiss women’s accounts, disbelieve and question their stories, and blame them for their own assaults, we are playing right into the hands of those who silence victims by asking: “who would believe you anyways?”.”
— Laura Bates
“The very fact that it is necessary in the twenty-first century to explain why it’s not okay to publicly debate whether or not women are “asking” for sexual assault is mind-boggling.”
— Laura Bates
“This combination of ageism and sexism was also blatant in the Boston Herald’s treatment of sixty-three-year-old Elizabeth Warren, whose 2012 Senate bid it sought to undermine by repeatedly dubbing her “Granny” in its pages, as if to imply that an older woman could not possibly be trusted with political responsibility.”
— Laura Bates
“One day, in the very early months of the project, I read several entries in a single week from girls who had been subjected to leering and shouting from men in the street while walking home from school in their uniforms. Dismayed, I posted a question on Twitter: Surely, I asked, this couldn’t be a common occurrence? By the end of the day, a deluge of hundreds of tweets had confirmed that the experience was not only common but almost ubiquitous.”
— Laura Bates
“I quickly learned, however, that a university education is not a prerequisite to reading Shakespeare. After all, his original audience was not college-educated. Neither was he.”
— Laura Bates
“I’m fifteen and I feel like girl my age are under a lot of pressure that boys are not under. I know I am smart, I know I am kind and funny, and I know that everyone around me keeps telling me that I can be whatever I want to be. I know all this but I just don’t feel that way. I always feel like if I don’t look a certain way, if boys don’t think I’m ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’ then I’ve failed and it doesn’t even matter if I am a doctor or writer, I’ll still feel like nothing. I hate that I feel like that because it makes me seem shallow, but I know all of my friends feel like that, and even my little sister. I feel like successful women are only considered a success if they are successful AND hot, and I worry constantly that I won’t be. What if my boobs don’t grow, what if I don’t have the perfect body, what if my hips don’t widen and give me a little waist, if none of that happens I feel like what’s the point of doing anything because I’ll just be the ‘fat ugly girl’ regardless of whether I do become a doctor or not.I wish people would think about what pressure they are putting on everyone, not just teenage girls, but even older people – I watch my mum tear herself apart every day because her boobs are sagging and her skin is wrinkling, she feels like she is ugly even though she is amazing, but then I feel like I can’t judge because I do the same to myself. I wish the people who had real power and control the images and messages we get fed all day actually thought about what they did for once.I know the girls on page 3 are probably starving themselves. I know the girls in adverts are airbrushed. I know beauty is on the inside. But I still feel like I’m not good enough.”
— Laura Bates
“…this pattern of casual intrusion whereby women could be leered at, touched, harassed, and abused without a second though, was sexism: implicit, explicit, commonplace, and deep-rooted, pretty much everywhere you’d care to look.”
— Laura Bates
“A slut isn’t a person, it’s in the eye of the beholder. Like beauty, or an annoying eyelash. We decide who a girl is based on something she’s done (or even just rumoured to have done) and then brand her with it as if it’s a permanent part of her identity. Guys, on the other hand, get to wear their relationships and ‘conquests’ like medals or badges of honour, which are much easier to take off, and hurt a lot less.”
— Laura Bates
“If a guy is put off by you being a feminist, you need to ask yourself how put off you are by someone who doesn’t believe in equality for women.”
— Laura Bates
“Just got called a slag by two guys sitting outside the University of York library. A slag for books?”
— Laura Bates
“Yes, for the love of God young women, come along – learn your limits. Or, rather, know society’s limits. How dare you think you have the right to go out wearing whatever you like – how foolish and ignorant of you to expect not to be assaulted, you brazen hussies! What do you think this is? A free country?”
— Laura Bates
“Tired of cold callers asking to speak to the ‘man in the house’, now I put them on to my 6-year old son… he sings them ‘Sexy and I Know It’.”
— Laura Bates
“This is a battle that we will win. Because women are wittier, brighter, stronger and braver than a misogynistic and patriarchal world has given us credit for.”
— Laura Bates
“Women who lead, read”
— Laura Bates
“How can I believe the people that say women have equal rights? When the worst insult a man can be called is a woman, girly, a twat, a cunt, that he needs to ‘man up’ and the list goes on. My gender is not an insult. I’m tired of all this shit.”
— Laura Bates
“This is not a men vs women issue. It’s about people vs prejudice.”
— Laura Bates