“It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Going to church doesn’t make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Lead, follow, or get out of the way.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“The cave-dweller’s wife complained that he hadn’t dragged her anywhere in months.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Old age is when you know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Early to bed early to rise work like hell and advertise.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“When I want your opinion I’ll give it to you.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“He laughs best whose laugh lasts.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“You can always tell a real friend when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.”
— Laurence J. Peter
“Facts are stubborn things but statistics are more pliable.”
— Laurence J. Peter