“It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom.”
— Quentin Crisp
“The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.”
— Quentin Crisp
“Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.”
— Quentin Crisp
“The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.”
— Quentin Crisp
“Manners are love in a cool climate.”
— Quentin Crisp
“If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.”
— Quentin Crisp
“The idea that He would take his attention away from the universe in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds is just so unlikely I can’t go along with it.”
— Quentin Crisp
“Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.”
— Quentin Crisp
“My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.”
— Quentin Crisp
“If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.”
— Quentin Crisp
“Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.”
— Quentin Crisp
“Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?”
— Quentin Crisp
“When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?”
— Quentin Crisp
“Without an element of vulgarity, no man can be a work of art…I have to try and think what an artist is, apart from a hooligan who cannot live within his income of praise.”
— Quentin Crisp
“If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his right had laid his path down the middle of the lawn, and were then to lay his own garden path diagonally from one corner to the other, that man’s soul would be lost. Originality is only to be praised when not prefaced by the look to right and left.”
— Quentin Crisp
“Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.”
— Quentin Crisp
“All the golden societies of the past to which historians point and turn their wistful smiles have had what patience-players would call a discard pile. They operated on two levels with a slave class who worked, ate, slept, and died and a leisured class who reclined on one elbow and spoke. Naturally it is from this latter group that we learn what life at that time was like. It often makes charming reading but we can hardly take it to be the whole truth.”
— Quentin Crisp
“The search for a life-style involves a journey to the interior. This is not altogether a pleasant experience, because you not only have to take stock of what you consider your assets but you also have to take a long look at what your friends call “the trouble with you.” Nevertheless, the journey is worth making.”
— Quentin Crisp
“There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.”
— Quentin Crisp
“I am unable to believe in a God susceptible to prayer. I simply haven’t the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits, and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.”
— Quentin Crisp
“The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.”
— Quentin Crisp
“The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.”
— Quentin Crisp
“Men get laid, but women get screwed.”
– Quentin Crisp
“The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.”
– Quentin Crisp
“My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.”
– Quentin Crisp
“There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know the third is that you can’t think what to do with the long winter evenings.”
– Quentin Crisp
“Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.”
– Quentin Crisp
“Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.”
– Quentin Crisp
“The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy they want to be right.”
– Quentin Crisp
“The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.”
– Quentin Crisp