Clergyman's

Over 500k "Quote" Cards

“Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?”

— Richard Kadrey

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“Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?”
— Richard Kadrey

“Don't drink too much.""When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop.""I'll have to get a shorter name.""I'll have to forget how to spell it.”

— Richard Kadrey

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“Don't drink too much.""When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop.""I'll have to get a shorter name.""I'll have to forget how to spell it.”
— Richard Kadrey

“The dead think they can get away with anything because you'll feel sorry for them. If you play cards with the dead, make sure you deal and don't let them buy you drinks. They'll slip you a formaldehyde roofie and pry the gold fillings out of your teeth.”

— Richard Kadrey

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“The dead think they can get away with anything because you'll feel sorry for them. If you play cards with the dead, make sure you deal and don't let them buy you drinks. They'll slip you a formaldehyde roofie and pry the gold fillings out of your teeth.”
— Richard Kadrey

“Don't talk. Kill it."That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.”

— Richard Kadrey

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“Don't talk. Kill it."That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.”
— Richard Kadrey

“*For eleven years, I've been worked over and abused in ways you can't imagine by things you don't want to know about. I've killed every kind of vile, black-souled, dead-eyed nightmare that ever made you piss your pjs and cry for mommy in the middle of the night. I kill monsters and, if I wanted, I could say a word and burn you to powder from the inside out. I can tear any human you ever met to rages with my bare hands. Give me one good reason why I could possibly need you?*She looks straight at me, not blinking. No fear in her eyes.*Because you might be the Tasmanian Devil and the Angel of Death all rolled into one, but you don't even know how to get a phone.*I hate to admit it, but she has a point.”

— Richard Kadrey

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“*For eleven years, I've been worked over and abused in ways you can't imagine by things you don't want to know about. I've killed every kind of vile, black-souled, dead-eyed nightmare that ever made you piss your pjs and cry for mommy in the middle of the night. I kill monsters and, if I wanted, I could say a word and burn you to powder from the inside out. I can tear any human you ever met to rages with my bare hands. Give me one good reason why I could possibly need you?*She looks straight at me, not blinking. No fear in her eyes.*Because you might be the Tasmanian Devil and the Angel of Death all rolled into one, but you don't even know how to get a phone.*I hate to admit it, but she has a point.”
— Richard Kadrey

“Nothing nice happens to murdered women.”

— Richard Kadrey

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“Nothing nice happens to murdered women.”
— Richard Kadrey

“It's more like how some people can't help but bring out the not necessarily righteous parts of your personality. Like how you meet someone and instantly know they're a full-time professional victim, and no matter how hard you try, something takes over and you can't help needling them.”

— Richard Kadrey

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“It's more like how some people can't help but bring out the not necessarily righteous parts of your personality. Like how you meet someone and instantly know they're a full-time professional victim, and no matter how hard you try, something takes over and you can't help needling them.”
— Richard Kadrey

“Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself.”

— Richard Kadrey

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“Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself.”
— Richard Kadrey

“This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us sex and told us not to do it. You played three-card monte with our souls from day one, and when we couldn't find the queen, you sent us to Hell to be tortured for eternity. That was your great plan for humanity? All you gave us here was daisies and fairy tales and you acted like that was enough. How were we supposed to resist evil when you didn't even tell us about it?”

— Richard Kadrey

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“This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us sex and told us not to do it. You played three-card monte with our souls from day one, and when we couldn't find the queen, you sent us to Hell to be tortured for eternity. That was your great plan for humanity? All you gave us here was daisies and fairy tales and you acted like that was enough. How were we supposed to resist evil when you didn't even tell us about it?”
— Richard Kadrey

“If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.”

— Richard Kadrey

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“If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.”
— Richard Kadrey

“Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)”

— Richard Kadrey

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“Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)”
— Richard Kadrey

“Thanks for treating me like, you know, a person through all this shit. I know that isn't always easy. (Stark)You do have a habit of pissing on other people's welcome mats. But, when a gentleman gives you a booty call to a massacre, it's easy to forgive. Ciao. (Candy)”

— Richard Kadrey

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“Thanks for treating me like, you know, a person through all this shit. I know that isn't always easy. (Stark)You do have a habit of pissing on other people's welcome mats. But, when a gentleman gives you a booty call to a massacre, it's easy to forgive. Ciao. (Candy)”
— Richard Kadrey

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