Clergyman's

That was scarier than Richard Simmons chasin' after you with a box of rubbers!
- Larry the Cable Guy

You know, you can tell the difference between a terrorist and a toddler. On a terrorist, the diaper is gonna be on the head, all right? That's how you can tell the difference. It's upsetting. Unbelievable. They got absolutely nothing in common except both diapers are full of crap.
- Larry the Cable Guy

You know, you can tell the difference between a terrorist and a toddler. On a terrorist, the diaper is gonna be on the head, all right? That's how you can tell the difference. It's upsetting. Unbelievable. They got absolutely nothing in common except both diapers are full of crap.
- Larry the Cable Guy

Did you know that when a baby poops its diaper, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper?
- Larry the Cable Guy

What does fruit got to do with underbritches? I guess it's to remind us when we take them down we go, ""Oh, I should've eaten more fruit today. I guess.
- Larry the Cable Guy

I was madder than a Keebler elf getting demoted to fudge-packer.
- Larry the Cable Guy

Do you get so drunk you hump a cupholder?
- Larry the Cable Guy

Cheney shot his buddy in the face. Clinton shot his intern in the face.
- Larry the Cable Guy

Cheney shot his buddy in the face. Clinton shot his intern in the face.
- Larry the Cable Guy

Cheney shot his buddy in the face. Clinton shot his intern in the face.
- Larry the Cable Guy